Survivor Story #1

TW: Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence

I am a student at [College/University in Lakeland, FlL] and as soon as I got to campus my freshman year I started dating this guy. He was a freshman too, he was super sweet and fun and caring and nice at first and I thought it was going great. Slowly but surely he started to want to spend every second of every day with me, if we weren't in class we were together and it was really suffocating. If he saw me talking with any guy who wasn't him, even a mutual friend, he would get really jealous and question me and get angry.

We were sexually active which was fine but if he wanted to have sex he was going to have it whether I liked it or not. From the start it was obvious he was rushing this one frat and he would go and get really drunk or high every night. I knew if he came back intoxicated he was going to make me have sex with him even when I said no. It didn't matter if all his roommates or my roommates were home, if they were awake, if the lights were on. One time my roommate's sister came to visit and he even tried to make me when she was awake right in front of us.

I talked to him about it so many times and he said he'd be better but he wouldn't no matter what. One time he made me have sex with him so many times in one day that it hurt really bad and I was hysterically crying during it and he still wouldn't stop. He had anger problems and would get so mad at me or other people that he would punch walls and doors or anything he could find and I was always so afraid one day it would be me. He would call me a slut and a whore all the time and genuinely meant it even though he was way worse than me before. 

He would get so angry at me when I wanted to go out with my friends instead of him on the weekends and told me if I went out in certain outfits I would get raped. He would tell all of his friends explicit details of our sex life, literal play by plays even when I was sitting right next to him telling him to stop. Sometimes his friends would even tell me that he took things too far when he was just talking with the boys and I wasn't around.

I finally broke up with him because he screamed at me and made me cry in public multiple times in one night, when I didn't even know what I did wrong because he wouldn't tell me. He then locked me in a room and screamed at me while I cried for hours. I didn't even know what to do. He texted me the next day to apologize and I just said it was over. I felt so stupid because I didn't think anything like this would ever happen to me because I am smart and educated but I didn't even realize something was wrong until someone else told me how f*cked up it was.

I never said anything to anyone because he does have a lot of issues and I did and do feel bad for him and I hate to admit it even after I broke things off...

I know I am not the only one, he's done this to a bunch of girls since.